The Bear Diplomat: My Unexpected Rise to Power in the Seychelles

So, there I was, settling my affairs after an extremely satisfying stay at the spectacular Four Seasons Seychelles, when James Edwards—Director of Guest Relations, no less—informed me that I had been bestowed the title of Seychelles Ambassador.

Yes, you heard that correctly. Ambassador.

The honor came complete with a name pin and a custom-made, name embroidered scarf—made of the finest fabric, of course—in a color that complemented my new jumper quite tastefully, if I may say so.

Sardonic George at the Four Seasons Seychelles

But let’s back up. Allow me to provide the full context behind this thoroughly deserved accolade.

You see, I am, in my own right, a global brand. Specifically, an influencer with a rather large and highly engaged social media following. I possess the rare ability to influence opinions, shape behavior, and inspire decisions in those wise enough to follow me.

Frankly, I don’t just visit destinations—I elevate them.

Ambassadorial Duties, George-Style

As with any diplomatic role, I take my responsibilities seriously. During my tenure (read: short week holiday), I made sure to:

• Personally inspect every pillow in every Villa. Quality control is no joke.

• Sample the full cocktail menu—twice. For cultural accuracy, of course. For the record, Takamaka Rum: A Historical Delight is the esteemed choice for all islanders and I concur.

• Pose graciously with fans, even the ones who pretended to be “taking a photo of the sunset atop Le Syel Spa deck perched high on a cliff overlooking Petite Anse beach”

• Ensure that all Villa deck chairs were tested. The guests deserve answers.

• Mediate a minor dispute between a crab and a beach waiter. Tensions are high in the intertidal zone.

  
  

Let’s be honest: some ambassadors open embassies. I open hearts.

A Word to Lesser Influencers

Before the rest of you “content creators” come flooding in with your sponsored luggage and drone footage, let me remind you: true influence isn’t measured in followers—it's measured in scarves.

When the Four Seasons Seychelles presents you with a hand-selected textile, lovingly draped around your shoulders while referring to you as “our esteemed guest,” then—maybe—we can talk.

James Edwards, Director Guest Relations Four Seasons Seychelles

Until then, stay in your lane. Or your over-filtered infinity pool.

George Signs Off (Diplomatically)

So yes, I may have come for the one-of-a-kind Four Seasons sunsets, the incredible white sandy beaches, and the exquisite tropical pampering that only the Four Seasons Seychelles can offer. But I left with something far more valuable:

A title. A scarf. And yet another nation upgraded simply by my presence.

You're welcome, Seychelles.

George out.